After all the research, coaching, setting up a booth, learning the tech and engineering process, it has all come down to that metaphysical question. Who the hell am I? And what kind of product do I plan to sell? How do I see myself? How do others see me? And how are my clients going to see me?
One thing I’ve always known is I am an authentic misfit. A rebel, since I don’t look like anybody else, don’t sound like anyone else and never got past the age of six in my way of looking at life sometimes. Oh, I’m a convincing grownup and my age is an unlisted number now but I’m totally clueless many times about hidden agendas. I want to trust but I’ve learned to be guarded. Wisdom and maturity came slowly for me.
Ok, so how does this relate to VO? If I let myself think with the purity and simplistic honesty of a 6 year old, there is no filter or shading or subtlety in my delivery. A child’s eyes and heart make it easy to see the vulnerabilities, passions, talents and need to feel safe in my characters. I seem to relate to the inner child in all of us that way. The total emotional honesty of kids can certainly sting but also be funny! It can make you cry and kids get a pass when they speak truth.
So maybe this is what I want to bring to the mic. Life lessons force you to grow up and create a protective shell. Living defensively requires 24/7 attention. So I guess I’m a little girl pretending to be a grown up – but – I get it wrong sometimes. I love entertaining you if I know you like me!
Funny thing is, my grownup persona intimidates people. Lots of people have said so! I’m not even five feet tall! “Ok, just because I wanted a project to be perfect or at least excellent, I might have been a bit pushy. I swear I’m not that bad these days.
I think because I’ve always been small, I’ve had to be “over the top” to get recognition. My work ethic evolved because my soul needed respect, and acknowledgement. I vividly remember being ignored, brushed off, disregarded or it being assumed I had nothing to offer. Huge mistake! When a new client asks me what I can bring to the table, I laugh and say I AM the table.” I just learned to create my own opportunities, be the boss and laughed on the way to the bank.
Performing as a singer, actress, dancer and director and coach fulfilled my needs for quite a few years. I had real talent and with a child’s simple belief, “I can do that!” I never felt fear of failure. Fear of humiliation might have been what kept me going when I got frustrated!
VO is now an accumulation of all my skills and life lessons!. You might say puberty passed me by but I never wanted to shave my legs or wear high heels, anyway!