As Joan Rivers used to say, “Can we talk?” I’m a proud and middle class baby boomer and I’ve always thought I looked pretty good in not “letting myself go.” I’ve come to realize though the BOOM in me is sputtering. Now, there are still sparks to be had but, a gen Z er or Xer, or whatever, had the nerve to tell me with a tinge of condescension, “You’re so cute being behind the times.” According to my watch, I’m right on time. “Just be your age.” I was told. But I don’t know how to do that because I’ve never been this old before. So do I try to be right with the times and act like that friggin little idiot who speaks a foreign slang where every word is “LIKE” she thinks that’s English? And the music these days? They finally found a way for people who can’t carry a tune to make music with stories about dudes and bitches and ho’s.

I think they call it RAP. In fact I had to ask a student of mine what a ho was. I thought they were talking about those chocolate snacks, ho ho’s. In my day we loved bubble gum pop and classic rock and roll. In my day, my parents were listening to Lawrence Welk, Frank Sinatra and Barbara Streisand. We thought they were behind the times. We knew the the Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Janis Joplin ruled the radio. We were cool!

And the young people’s fashion choices?

What do you want holes in your whole body for? Belly button piercings, and beads on the side of your nostril that looks like there’s a huge pimple on your nose. And the nose rings and lip jewelry make you look like you desperately need a Kleenex. How could you punch a hole in your tongue! Do you have to go to special physical therapy to learn how to chew? And how to talk so it doesn’t look like you’re talking with food in your mouth? I’m just asking? I truly want to know! And those tattoos called sleeves? I wouldn’t depend on them during the winter.

Men are now wearing “man buns,” and the ladies are the ones getting buzz cuts. I see a rainbow of hair colors that totally confuse me. Are these people what they’re now calling “People of color? Am I supposed to stare at these fashion statements? I feel like our youth has been overtaken by aliens. Remember when vampires and zombies were all the rage? I think they called this obsession “Gouls”, no I think its called Goth. But I love the kid’s mantra, today. “Just do you!”

So I will! I feel so much better after our little talk