It’s a cliché for a reason: “Be careful what you wish for,” because all too often, it happens! And when it does, I often find myself thinking, “Holy Sh…t! Now what do I do?” Performing artists and creatives nurture the dream of, “making it big,” whether they talk about it or not. Most of the time reality consists of small increasing successes that keep the dream alive. With hard and steady persistence, a career can be built in the industry on some level but everyone defines, “I made it!” differently.

For me, I’ve made it because I can say I’m paying my bills working as a performer on camera and as a voice over talent. I coach a few students as well. I’m not chasing fame or celebrity, just creative fulfillment doing what I love and financial stability. I am filled with gratitude that I am doing this successfully. And yet, I worry!

What? Every booking I land is treasured because what if it’s the last one I book? This is when I have to rely on my faith. Chasing the next job is stressful. If new bookings aren’t steady, I can torture myself with the “what ifs,” such as, what if I’m not talented enough to sustain this career? What if I can’t find the energy and motivation to keep hustling? Damn, when can I ever relax!

Ok, I realize that much of this angst is self inflicted…because…I get bored. There! I said it. ADD rears its head! I remember when I was doing live theatre and entertainment, after a successful opening night, I was ready to close and move on to the next show. It seems when I complete a project, I get itchy and angsty.

Voice over work is tough to maintain. It’s feast or famine financially, creatively and motivationally. YOU are the product being sold to a saturated market. If I’m feasting, I worry I’m too overwhelmed to meet multiple commitments. If it’s a famine period, I worry I’ll never work again. I stress out because I’m unstressed. Don’t get me started about finding a middle ground. For me, it doesn’t exist! You’ll know I’m in a bored panic mode when I go into a marketing frenzy.

So many of my much admired colleagues make this job seem so effortless. And many of them have families and side jobs to juggle! Thank God for my students! I truly love each one and focusing on their needs and dreams gives me a break from the “all about me,” mind set. Thank God too for my strong faith that reminds me I’m exactly where I need to be in this present moment.

I’m still a student myself with my fabulous coaches and I strive for excellence every day. But I will allow myself some TV and social media in the evenings. Looking across the room, I spot the plaque stating, “DON’T JUST SIT THERE, WORRY!” So I do. (But I put it off till morning.)